Keeping My Feet Warm

This week an older married woman was asking me about my life and our plans after getting married. I told her what I know: we'll be living in a small town in a small apartment an hour outside of the big city we're in now. "What will you do living way out there?" I gave her a practical answer about the weekly activities of work...but I thought to myself, "Good question." I honestly haven't thought a whole lot about it. I think I've just figured that it will be the same as life now, only in a different location. But it's really going to change.

Today, I re-read a June email from another older married friend that I never responded to. She was asking some about what my fiance is like. After spending a couple hours of surfing YouTube, I began to turn my thoughts toward how to respond to her questions. I found myself being weighed down by speculation of what might or could happen in the future, thinking mostly in negative things. I find that it's so easy for me to get sidetracked and that can drag me down into the mire of worry and fretting and result in panic and strife.

I decided to refresh my mind with a quiet glimpse at a deeper reality than my changing circumstances and the constant chatter that swirls around me. The source of that deeper reality is an anchor in my life that keeps me sane. It been said that it's a living and active text that can discern the sources of the various thoughts that pass through our minds.

"As for me, I will always have hope. I will praise you more and more....Since my youth, O God, you have taught me, and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds. Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, O God, till I declare your power to the next generation...."
--ancient Middle Eastern king

I echo this king's exclamation of hope. When I can refocus the eyes of my heart, the distracting worries settle down. Some really are issues that I should attend to, but they never deserve all the attention that they clamor for.

I'm trusting that my worries, which seem to have popped up from out of nowhere, are a normal part of the preparation and adjustment process as I move toward marriage. This quick visit with an ancient king has helped squelch twinges of cold feet and has injected peace and joy back into my harried heart.